Charlie grinned and nodded in satisfaction and said, “Hurry up, let’s start.”
Then, he picked up the phone and aimed it at Mr. Lloyd and Marcus.
The father and son stood side by side. Wiping away his tears, Marcus managed a smile and said, “Hi, everyone, I am Marcus Lloyd, the pathetic jerk.”
Marcus also hurriedly said, “Hi, I’m Mr. Cain Lloyd, the father of the pathetic jerk.”
Then, they said together, “We’re going to perform stand-up comedy today!”
Marcus said, “I bet all of you must have seen these words carved on my forehead. Why, you may ask? Because I am always very arrogant and these words are to remind everyone that they are all pathetic jerks.”
Mr. Lloyd continued, “They say, ‘like father, like son’, but in my case, it’s ‘like son, like father’. Since my son has the words ‘pathetic jerk’ carved on his forehead, I can’t let him indulge in the glory himself, so I’m joining the bandwagon and have these words ‘father of the pathetic jerk’ carved on my forehead too.”
Marcus said, “Up till this point, you must be wondering why my dad and I are so arrogant? This is mainly because we have a very good relationship with the Webb family in Southaven!”
“Yes!” Mr. Lloyd said, “Everyone knows that the Webb family is filthy rich, but the most awesome thing the family has isn’t money, but instead, a son who likes to eat shit!”
Marcus said, “Yes! When it comes to the shit-eating son, you guys must have watched the viral video on the Internet. That dude has to eat shit hourly and he can’t even skip once! When he was at the hospital, in order to eat the freshly baked shit, he literally pushed an old man who was sitting inside the toilet and smacked the shit right into his mouth! Tell me, is that something an ordinary person would do?”
Mr. Lloyd echoed, “You’re right, son. The way you put it, the Webb family’s son is really something!”
“Of course!” Marcus nodded, complimenting with a thumbs up, “So the Webb family is indeed extraordinary to have such an extraordinary son!”
Mr. Lloyd curiously asked, “Wait a minute. Why haven’t we heard any news from him now, by the way?”
Marcus answered, “Well, I dug up some gossip. He is now living a royal-like lavish life in his sweet home!”
“What do you mean?” Mr. Lloyd asked, looking very curious.
“He is now enjoying the best time of his life in his home in Southaven. I heard that for the shit that he eats twenty times a day, the family hires some people to ‘provide’ the shit every hour so he can eat it fresh!”
Mr. Lloyd exclaimed in surprise, “Oh my god, is it true? More than twenty meals a day, can the supply meet its demand?”
Marcus answered seriously, “Of course not. Think about it, even if they can poop every hour, what if someone has constipation or something?”
“Oh my goodness!” Mr. Lloyd shrieked, “In that case, the young master would not have his meal on time!”
Then, he asked, “Son, why don’t we sign up for the ‘program’ and stay at their mansion for a few days to provide the hot baked goods to him?”
Marcus nodded excitedly and said with a wide grin, “Great idea! If we go, I bet the old coot and his son of a bitch Donald must be so grateful that they will kneel before us and thank us!”
Marcus was actually trembling in fright when he said this.
They were literally offending the Webb family up till the end!
Mr. Lloyd’s heart was thumping vigorously as well, but a glance at Charlie made him perk up. He bit the bullet and continued, “I don’t think that is all! I bet they will start licking our toes like dogs when we are there! I heard that the old coot loves to have sugar daddies, maybe he will make me his sugar daddy.”
“What? Sugar daddies?” Marcus asked, shocked, “Why does he have such a weird fetish?”
“God knows why.” Mr. Lloyd shrugged. “I heard that he has over three hundred sugar daddies now. Maybe he loves to be a sugar baby, who knows!”